An excerpt from Parenting with an Attitude...21 Questions Successful Parents Ask Themselves

August 28, 2009

Avoiding the mistakes our parents made with us
"While it may at times be a difficult task emotionally for many of us to tackle, it is important in our parenting efforts to look at and to consider how our parents raised us. While we may have grown up vowing to avoid making the same mistakes with our kids that they made with us, it can be an easier promise made to ourselves than it is to actually keep. Simply stated, it is important-especially for new parents just starting out-to consider and evaluate the job our parents did with us. What did they do well, and what did they do that may not have been done so well? How were we affected, and how was our relationship with them impacted? Only then are we able to, 'take the best and leave the rest'. Take advantage of books, friends, professionals, as well as your own instincts, to create the most effective style of parenting for your kids. It can even be helpful to draw from your parents and how they raised you. But to either blindly apply, or to blindly reject their efforts will not serve you well in your quest to be a successful parent."

Ed Wimberly, Author of Parenting with an Attitude....21 Questions Succcessful Parents Ask Themselves

Discussion questions

1. How did the mistakes your parents made with you affect your
relationship with them?
2. Do the mistakes they made when you were growing up affect
you now?
3. Do you ever find yourself making some of the same mistakes
with your kids that your parents made with you?
4. If you do, how do those mistakes you are repeating with your
kids affect your relationship with them today?
5. Do you remain a victim of the mistakes your parents made, or
do you feel you have let go and moved on?
6. Have you forgiven them for any mistakes they may have made
as your parents?
7. If not, what do you think it would take for you to forgive
them?